Did I Say Yes?

Did you ever say yes to someone, and then later regret it? I do it all the time. Yes, yes, yes, sure I’ll do that—and then ten minutes later I’m wondering to myself “Why did I say yes?”
We’ve all been there, on the receiving end of a request from someone;

“Can you do this work for me?”
“Will you come to the party?”
“I need you to spend three hours doing (something)”
“Would you like to go on a date Friday night?”
“The school project must be done by someone”

Before our brain has a chance to process this information, out from our mouths blurt the words “Okay”, “Yes”, “I’ll do it”. And a short time later you’re wondering “Why am I going out with that guy on Friday?” or “Why did I commit to that party?” or “I have so much work to do, how am I going to do this?”
Unfortunately, how we usually deal with this is to either wait until the last moment and back out of our commitment, or follow through on the commitment with resentment toward the other person or ourselves.
Why do we do this? Two reasons; one, many of us are people-pleasers, and don’t know how to say NO to people. Two, we’re unprepared.
The person who comes to you with a request, has mentally prepared themselves to ask you. This preparation may be a simple mental rehearsal, or an elaborate persuasive argument. As far as being a people-pleaser, this is based in our own insecurity—we fear losing that person as a friend if we say NO and disappoint them. So, we put the burden on ourselves for the sake of being likable.
What to do? Tell the person “Let me get back to you”, or “I need to check my schedule”. This will give you time to process the information and make the best decision possible for both of you.
In some situations we have to say yes immediately, such as at work, when the boss needs you to do something, or at school when the teacher needs our cooperation. But often we have the right to bargain for time to think things through.
Be a good steward of your time—it’s the most valuable resource you have.

Key Words

Regret-v-feeling bad about something we did or said.

Blurt-v-quickly said, a reaction.

Commitment-n-an agreement to do something.

Resentment-n-negative feelings about a person or thing.

People-pleaser-n-someone who does almost anything to make others happy.

Elaborate-adj-complicated, detailed, containing many facets (parts).

Persuasive-adj-convincing, able to get agreement.

Insecurity-n-lack of self-confidence, fear, doubt about oneself.

Burden-n-a heavy load.

Steward-n-a manager of things, a person responsible for taking care of something.