Text for Qatar Wins World Cup feature, April 5th program

Gaston: Ah, my dear friend Axel, did you see that FIFA has awarded the 2022 World Cup to Qatar? Axel: Yes, yes, I read the news this morning on my favorite website, Bundeslige Blog. Gaston: It is quite a surprise, oui, that zee soccer showpiece will be held in the Middle East—it will feel like a sauna, yes? Axel: I believe that football’s governing body wants to test the waters, and see what is possible. Look at some of FIFA’s choices in recent years. Gaston: Ah, you are right, masseur, -- we French hosted zee World Cup in 1998. Axel: Und Deutschland had the most wunderbar World Cup just four years ago. Gaston: That is your perception, Axel—that Germany was the best. We French think that our tournament was magnifique! Axel: Well, notwithstanding your opinion, FIFA has ventured into uncharted territory for very special reasons. Consider that Brazil will host the next World Cup, then Russia . . Gaston: And then Qatar! Plus, South Africa just hosted last year’s event! Aha! FIFA has chosen these locations for a reason, yes? Axel: Ja! The locations have been decided upon irrespective of their football history. FIFA’s goal is to take the game to places it’s never been. Gaston: Zee governing board of FIFA pledged to reach out globally, and expand their market and influence. Axel: Und they have done this. Qatar will be the fourth straight World Cup not staged in Europe. This has never happened before. I am not pleased. Gaston: Ah, Axel, what will we do? Europe is zee center of the universe for soccer. Axel: I think we will be doing much traveling in the next twelve years to see our teams play in the World Cup. Gaston: Merci, my friend; that may be your choice. But I prefer to sit in a café, here in Paris, and watch zee games on television. Viva, la France! Axel: You can stay here and eat your croissant, Gaston. I will be a real man, and support my team wherever they go! Onward, Deutschland!